courtneykrunk (courtneykrunk) wrote,

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The story of us

Why the HELL did i let myself trust him again?
am i that fuckin dumb?
i mean, he acted like he wanted to be my friend...
but then he said he didnt want a friendship with me
because he has a girlfriend...
and he knows that if we ever hung out,
we would end up doing stuff,
meaning he would cheat.
but i still find it dumb because
if your thinking about cheating
then your obviously not satisfied with what you have.
you obviously arent in love either,
because then you wouldnt even think of cheating.
ya know what im saying?
And he says he thinks of me
dirty thoughts...
why just think about someone
when you can actually have them?
i just dont get it.
im tired of getting hurt.
its not that i have feelings for him
its just i at least wanted to be friends.
he said things were cool between us,
then why cant we be friends?
what do i do thats so bad for people
to not want to be my friend?
i just dont get it.
i honestly think he doesnt want to be my friend
because he KNOWS he will get feelings for me
that will be twice as strong as last time he had them for me
ya know?
think about it.
if he knows we would end up doing stuff when we are together'
then obviously he feels something for me.
and if he has to fight of temptation of wanting me
then cmon.
he has feelings for me.
he can just try to fight them
they wont go away,
they may disappear but they are still there.
and they will just get harder and harder to fight
thats why we are never going to see each other again
hes afraid of what might happen if he gets around me
because he knows he cant resist me,
hes told me it once before.
it sucks though that i get reated like shit
because he doesnt know how to deal with his feelings.
its not fair,
not fair at all.
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